NYE + Cry

I hope everyone has been enjoying the holidays. This time of year is so special. Christmas celebrating Christ's birth and new year's the birth of a new year. This time of year is extra special for me because Ry and I got married between Christmas and New Years. Thursday we celebrated five years. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful man. Infertility is not an easy thing for a couple to go through. There are days the hormones make me so emotional. The littlest things can make me cry. Ry was wanting to take pictures of me and I started crying because the hormones give me acne and I didn't feel pretty. Or there are days when I just want to shut myself off from the world. Or the tears from just wanting a baby so badly. (I have to admit I cry a lot at home). But during those times you really need someone who knows you and your situation and can pull you out of the funk. I hope none of you reading this has to go through infertility and all the challenges it causes- but if you do find someone you can be open and honest with about your situation. It really does help.

So tomorrow starts a New Year. I have no clue what 2012 will bring but I look forward to writing about it.

Provide

I'm on my lunch break and Chandy is wanting to play- so I don't know if this post is going to happen or not. I'll do my best to share what's on my heart and hope it all makes sense.  For those of you that know me well you know I am a planner and a worry wart. I like to know what's coming and what to expect. But I have been learn that things don't always turn out the way we plan. Actually more often than  not they don't. That's not necessarily a bad thing though. I've learned that even when I don't see how it will work out and my plans are falling apart that its because I am focusing on me. I should be focusing on God and trusting Him to take care of it. He does tell us to cast our cares on Him. Ry and I had a budget problem this month. I won't go into the details but according to my math our bills weren't going to get paid. I cried when we got our paychecks because I didn't think it would be enough. But we prayed and when I calmed down and we did the bills somehow there was enough. I still can"t explain it but I learned God's math is different than mine. And then there is our fertility issue. I want a baby so bad and I'll get down in the dumps about it. Then God will bring someone to encourage me. I met a couple women who weren't supposed to be able to have children that have kids. These ladies didn't even know my situation but by sharing they uplifted me. And then there is Chandelle. Ry and I laugh because we swore we would never be those people whose pet becomes their baby but now we are those people. Chandy fills a lot of that void in my heart from not being a mom. So I don't know if I've made my point but here it is: God will provide. I don't know what those of you reading this are going through but I do know that God can take care of it. He has always taken care of Ry and me. We still have wants but as far as our needs they are all covered. Things may not turn out how you expect but have faith and it will turn out :)