Monday, February 20, 2012
So yesterday was kind of tough for me. I went to a baby shower at church. It was good meeting more ladies at church but I think other girls going through infertility will agree- baby showers can bring on a lot of emotions. I almost always come home crying from them. I know this probably sounds horrible. Its not a jealousy thing. I truly am happy for all the women out there having babies. I just feel left out. The majority of women at showers are moms or kids. The moms are giving advice and talking about their kids. Then when asked if you have kids you get the sad eyes and "your time will come" comments. Its just hard. The easiest days on this journey have been the days I spend with Ry and Chandelle and I'm not thinking about babies or the fact that just about everyone I know has them. I've grown to a point where most of the time I am content with it being just Ry and me but then there are the days that the longing breaks in and I just feel alone. I know I should be happy. I have an amazing husband. Ry and I have been through so much together and our bond is so close. Sometimes I think he knows me better than I know myself. I am truly blessed. But there is an ache in my heart and a loneliness caused from it.