Chandelle

Life is crazy. Many of you probably already know- but right now Ry and I were supposed to be 5 hours away on our way to Alaska. That was our plan. However, as many of you also know, Chandelle our puppy got hit by a car last night. PLEASE pray for her. Her wounds are pretty bad. The vet said she may not make it. Her shoulder is broken and she has lacerations on her legs. But the worst is her lungs. She is having trouble breathing and the vet thinks her lungs have blood in them. Our poor baby. The good news is she is starting to stabilize. The vet didn't expect her to be doing as good as she is this morning. Praise Jesus. He is healing her. She is not our of danger yet. She still has some serious wounds. So please pray for her. We love her so much. As I write this even though I know she is at the vet, I keep looking for her. She isn't hiding under the desk at my feet or laying on the bed waiting for me to be done. And that breaks my heart. We are still trying to figure things out about Alaska- so please pray about that as well. We can't deter our trip too long because it is almost winter up there and we won't make it if we do.

The weird thing to me about all of this is on the way to work yesterday I was listening to the radio. They had Carrie Roberts on and she was talking about her song "No Matter What." As I listened to that song, I just felt in my heart that God was asking me- do you trust Me? Will you serve me no matter what? I thought it had to do with Alaska. I was all of course I will. We are moving aren't we. Or maybe the infertility stuff was what He was asking about.  But I think God was preparing me for that night. He was preparing me to say okay God no matter what- Your will. I know He can heal Chandy. He can do the impossible. But it has to be HIS will not mine. It has to be for His glory. Its not about me. My heart is broken- but there is a bigger picture a bigger purpose. All I can do is pray and trust and say No matter what Lord.

Please please pray for her and for us. Thanks.

Patience

Hi everybody. Hope you had an awesome Labor Day! I got to spend a lot of time with family which was great. We also took Chandelle on several walks :) We heard great sermons too. Ryan listened to a sermon online because he couldn't go to morning service because of his job and he heard what he needed to hear. And I went with my mom and heard what I needed. (Don't you love when that happens :) My pastor preached about patience. He talked about when, why, and how to be patient. One of the main points was that we can be patient because God is in control. I know I try to speed up his time table for my life and try to put myself in control. That never works out well. That's usually when I get frustrated and impatient. I want to skip over the time He has set to prepare me for what is coming. I want a baby now. I want to know all the details about our move now. But it doesn't work that way.

Pastor Wetter said, "God's purpose for your life is greater than any problem in your life." That really hit me. I say it all the time that God has a purpose and a plan in all this. And He does. I'm going to try to remind myself of that when I start getting impatient. When I'm impatient that's when I tend to forget...

Keep hoping and moving forward patiently. Hope= H.olding  O.n  P.raying  E.xpectantly

Have a great week :)

Update

Life has been crazy busy. I am working a lot and when I am not working- I am working on stuff for Alaska or trying to squeeze in as much time with family and friends before the move. It has been insane. Still no job for me or a place to live up there. We are moving in less than 3 weeks! We'll have a week on the road before we get there but not knowing where we are living yet is tough for me. I find myself checking every AK housing website everyday (sometimes several times a day). We are so blessed to have help from 2 families in Alaska so I am hoping and praying we will know soon. The good thing about being so busy is that I have not had time to stress about the infertility. So in that area of my life I have been doing okay. Well that is until I check facebook and see all the pregnancy statuses or get asked "You're married and great with kids- why don't you have any yet?" I spare most people the details and just tell them we've been trying. That is such a tough question because I even find myself asking that question. Not in the same manner that others are asking. They are just curious and want any answer. I walk away with tears in my eyes because I want the real answer. I want to know why my body hates me and causes me so much physical and emotional pain. I want to know if I'll ever be able to have kids. But right now I don't have an answer and its tough. But I just have to have faith that God's plans are bigger and better than mine. Who would have thought years ago when Ry and I got married that in the first 5 years we'd live on both coasts (Virginia and Alaska). I believe that God is going to do big things in our lives if we let Him. This infertility is preparing me for what He has next. I hope that in five years we'll be able to look back with amazement at the journey God has taken us on.