Thursday, May 12, 2011

no more tears

So I still haven't started but I am doing okay. It has been a crazy week but amazingly I have not cried this week. That is amazing because almost every morning I cry. I cry like a baby and ask God for strength to wait on His will. I am still waiting and praying for strength so why no tears? I think that has to do with the last time I cried. At church Sunday as always I cried then God reminds me to trust Him. Service was great. If you were not there you should look it up. It was about happiness coming from God when we invest in our relationship with Him and get up and do something about it. It made me realize I have been so focused on what my body is not doing (gaining weight and getting pregnant) that I have missed what I can do and all the blessings in my life. I am such a blessed woman. If I can't have kids then it is not the end of the world. Ryan and I can adopt. Ryan is so supportive of me and has been there for me the last 22 months of heart break. We have bonded over this and are an even stronger couple. God is leading us on the journey and we just have to get up and keep following. I will probably cry on occasion still but right now I am doing much better
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