It has been a rough week. Without going into too many details the last couple of weeks have been emotionally exhausting. I got called names I have never been called in my life and heard some of the most hurtful things. We got to the point where we had to let go of a child we loved very much. I loved him but he had hatred in his heart toward me. It has been very easy for me to wallow in self pity but that is not helpful. What I've learned with losing both kiddos is that when you focus on your self and your hurts/ your needs you hurt worse. Only when I focus on God and pray for the kids do I feel peace. One of my favorite praise songs is "10,000 Reasons" by Matt Redman. I love the line, "Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me let me be singing when the evening comes." I may be having the worst day of my life and be heartbroken/miserable. Still there are things to praise God about. When I'm praising Him it takes the focus off of me and my pain eases. I pray that everyone had a better week than we did but either way God is good and worthy of our praise.
The foster care door seems to be closing in our life but we see God opening a new door soon that we are excited about. Once everything is official I will share more.