Monday, January 20, 2014

The Mummy Diary

i'm going to try to write a post. if you could see me you'd understand why i said try. my arms are wrapped up like a mummy. my fingers are bandaged together so i am doing the point and peck method with my thumbs. oh and i am wearing sunglasses because my eyes are swollen and light sensitive. so please excuse typos and non capitalization. i should be sleeping but the thoughts in my brain won't stop swirling til i write them. so here we go.

i got a terrible contagious skin rash. probably one of the worst medical conditions i've had and i have had a lot. i find myself empathizing with Job in chapter 2 where he takes broken pottery to scrape his skin off. his pain is so bad he wishes he had never been born. ouch. he also asks 'why' a lot. i find myself doing the same. any time we suffer i think we question it. i'm all woe is me and Lord why am i suffering when i am doing what you called me to do?  i just want to be out of pain and i consider living in a bubble for the rest of my life so i can't catch anything else. i focus on what is temporary and not what is eternal. this pain will pass. this life will pass. eternity will not. i can be angry that someone made me ill or i can continue loving the people God brings me into contact with. living in a foreign country is not without risk. chances are if i continue what i am doing i will catch something else but is that enough of a reason to stuff doing what God has called me to do? I got this quote in my devotions this morning and i love it:

"we are created by God to do great works. He invites us to outlive our lives, not just in heaven but here on earth... may you live in such a way that your death is just the beginning of your life." max Lucado, out live your life

i want to leave a legacy. the kids i serve now will become adults someday and they will impact others. its the whole ripple effect. i can't do that if i stay stuck in my suffering or if i hold back out of fear. this life on earth is hard- but it is temporary. and the best part is that we don't have to walk it alone. right now no one will touch me- not even my husband- but Jesus will. I know He is holding my hand guiding me down this road. i can't say i know what you are going through. some of you are walking through things harder than i am. all i can say is Jesus is with you and keep chasing His will. If you do that then you will outlive this life.

                                                                     All wrapped up.

1 comment:

  1. Jenny. That rash sounds so terrible, but you always impress me the way you always find kinship and comfort from with those in the Bible. I'll be praying this goes away quickly.