As many of you probably already know in Africa they drive on the other side of the road than they do in America. So you sit on the other side to drive, the gearshift is on the other side of you, and the windshield wipers and turn signal are on opposite sides. It takes a little bit to get used to driving differently. As I was driving to pick Ryan up at the airport I realized there were several similarities between driving in Africa and my infertility journey. For starters as I just mentioned it take some getting used to both. I don't think anyone goes into trying to conceive expecting problems. Once you hit infertility challenges you have to make some adjustments. Eventually you get more used to it but it still feel weird. When I turned on the main road I had to fight my instincts. I kept wanting to switch sides and had to remind myself that I was already in the lane I needed to be in. I was thankful when I saw another car and could reassure myself that I was doing it right. I have to do that with this journey as well. I want to go my way but I have to stay on the path God is leading me through. Then there are the difficulties on the roads: huge potholes and animals crossing the road. Only going a few miles I had to stop twice for herds of goats and once for a donkey. The animals don't care if a car is coming. If you have read my blog at all you already know that infertility has many difficulties. The hormones and health aspect but just as bad is the emotional side. If I am honest I can tell you I get bitter, angry, jealous... on a regular basis, especially the months that I skip a period and start to hope. Those are my potholes that I have to pay attention and swerve to miss. Only by God's mercy and a lot of prayer can I get through.
I know I have just hit on the negatives but there are positives to both as well. I love being in Africa. It is an amazing experience. Where else in the world can you camp with lions, elephants, and hippos outside your tent? From desert dry salt pans to lush deltas, the scenery is vastly different and beautiful. Infertility is part of my journey and without it I may not have had some of the great experiences and be the person I am. So as much as I wish I could erase infertility from my life- it is a part of me. I have to embrace it and try to enjoy the ride. Whatever life throws in your way be it goats, cattle, donkeys, or something much crazier- trust God and just keep driving. He will lead you where you need to be.
Goats in the road Driving