Hi everybody. Life has gotten much busier. I started my new job last Thursday. I love it but it takes up a lot of time. Anyone in STL looking for a gymnastics class for their kids let me know :) Sorry I have one more commercial for you guys as well. Run For Their Lives is October 29 this year. They are hoping to have a race held in every state. I am coordinating the St. Louis race. If you aren't a runner you can still participate. Walking is allowed. Let me know if you want details :)
Okay now back to the blog. The youth pastor preached at our church Sunday and something he said hit me by surprise and I have been thinking a lot about it over the past couple days. It wasn't in the notes he had printed out for everyone to fill in, but I think it was what I needed to hear most. He said that we need to be content in who God built us to be. I heard those words and I immediately felt God calling me out. Right now I am not happy with my body. I get jealous over the girls who get pregnant without even trying. (I know that's horrible, but I'm being honest here). What I am missing is that maybe God built me this way for a reason. What if my body is doing what God built it to do, but I am so focused on not getting pregnant that I don't see it. God may have built me to never be able to get pregnant and I have to be okay with it. You want to know why? Because there is nothing I can do to change that. I am who He made me and if I don't accept that I will become bitter and jealous. God has a reason for everything and I need to trust Him. A very smart woman told me awhile ago when we were talking about infertility and adoption that maybe God made those woman/men that way so that those children that need homes would have them. (Thanks Ms. Kelly. If you are reading this you are awesome and I miss you). At the time I agreed with her but I think I secretly hoped I would have a choice between adoption and pregnancy or be able to do both. I didn't want to be who God built me to be. I wanted to be the girl who got pregnant the first try. But God is working on my heart now. I'm realizing this isn't just about me and what I want. It is about the big picture. The more I accept that God built me this way- the more peace I have about the possibility of never getting pregnant.