Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Contentment in who God Built Me to Be

Hi everybody. Life has gotten much busier. I started my new job last Thursday. I love it but it takes up a lot of time. Anyone in STL looking for a gymnastics class for their kids let me know :) Sorry I have one more commercial for you guys as well. Run For Their Lives is October 29 this year. They are hoping to have a race held in every state. I am coordinating the St. Louis race. If you aren't a runner you can still participate. Walking is allowed. Let me know if you want details :)

Okay now back to the blog. The youth pastor preached at our church Sunday and something he said hit me by surprise and I have been thinking a lot about it over the past couple days. It wasn't in the notes he had printed out for everyone to fill in, but I think it was what I needed to hear most. He said that we need to be content in who God built us to be. I heard those words and I immediately felt God calling me out. Right now I am not happy with my body. I get jealous over the girls who get pregnant without even trying. (I know that's horrible, but I'm being honest here). What I am missing is that maybe God built me this way for a reason. What if my body is doing what God built it to do, but I am so focused on not getting pregnant that I don't see it. God may have built me to never be able to get pregnant and I have to be okay with it. You want to know why? Because there is nothing I can do to change that. I am who He made me and if I don't accept that I will become bitter and jealous. God has a reason for everything and I need to trust Him. A very smart woman told me awhile ago when we were talking about infertility and adoption that maybe God made those woman/men that way so that those children that need homes would have them.  (Thanks Ms. Kelly. If you are reading this you are awesome and I miss you). At the time I agreed with her but I think I secretly hoped I would have a choice between adoption and pregnancy or be able to do both. I didn't want to be who God built me to be. I wanted to be the girl who got pregnant the first try. But God is working on my heart now. I'm realizing this isn't just about me and what I want. It is about the big picture. The more I accept that God built me this way- the more peace I have about the possibility of never getting pregnant.


  1. Good for you, Jenny! I can't even imagine how hard this struggle must be for you. Never say never, but also keep in mind that when God says "no", he has an even better "yes" in mind. :) Love ya, girly.

  2. Thanks Amanda. It's good to be reminded of that. Love ya too