This was written yesterday:
Our power went out today. A bad storm knocked a tree down on the power plant down the street. So now I sit writing my thoughts on paper by candlelight to be typed later. I am 3 days late and am getting anxious to know. I'll take a test in the morning but it will most likely be negative. Tomorrow will be a tough day for me as have the last 11 Fathers' Days. (My dad passed away in 2001). But I think tomorrow will be worse. I miss my dad. I also feel bad that I haven't given Ry a baby and he won't get to be a proud daddy tomorrow. I know its not my fault but I can't help feeling guilt and shame. On these days that celebrate parents it makes me ache for the children I will have someday. In the adoption book I read it reccomended along with celebrating parents that churches/Christians pray for couples struggling with infertility that feel left out on this day. I urge you to do the same. Also to all the parents out there- love on your kids today and thank God for blessing you with them. Happy Fathers' Day.