Hi everybody! Life has been insanely busy lately and I haven't had much to blog about. So sorry for the lapse in updates. I am not late yet. I should start next week if I'm not pregnant. I feel pretty good so healthwise no real update.
This is going to be more off topic but something I would like to share. I was listening to a song on the radio today and it got me thinking. The song was about how God views us better than we often view ourselves. We see what we are currently not what we will be. The book I am reading about christianity and adoption said something similar. I find myself getting down on myself. It drives Ryan nuts. I get insecure worrying about what others think about me. Last week I heard something that someone had said about me and I cried. I started doubting myself and asking my friends if they thought that about me. Whether the comment was true or not isn't the issue. The issue is that I spend too much time beating myself up about what others think. Instead I should be focusing on what God says about me. The Bible is filled with references about God loving us and us being His children. That He has plans for us and that we will overcome this world. How can I doubt myself with verses like that? Will I mess up? Of course. But does that define me? No. Does the fact that the doctors say I can't get pregnant define me? No. I am a child of God and someday I will be a mother. God doesn't call me barren or infertile. He knows what will happen. So I need to stop looking at myself that way. All this to say do not believe the lies the world tells you. You are a precious child of God and whatever life throws at you will never change that. Keep hoping and dreaming. Believe and trust. You never know when or if it'll happen but if you don't try and have faith it never will.